Pick the ripest of moldy, sprouting potatoes, oozing juices and slime. Boil till the spuds break down and pray for release. Answer their prayer. Peel and combine with dead critters that follow into an unwashed bowl. Slide in fifty sticks of expired butter. Next, shred 3 cups of moldy blue cheese into the bowl. Mix it all with a foul bark of a Bradford pear tree. Finally, sprinkle in eighty shakers of pepper for a kick that’ll wake your taste buds from their slumber. Gather some courage and take a spoonful of the funkiest gnarliest mashed potatoes.
