Begin your quest for the ripest of potatoes – moldy baking potatoes, their delighted peels sporting the finest specks of mold. Fear not if a few ants or a hundred pour out of them; they’re just eager guests!
Smash these spuds into an unwashed bowl, for cleanliness is but a distant memory in this flavorful frenzy. Slide in fifty sticks of expired butter, ensuring each creamy cube finds its rightful place among the potatoes. Next shred 3 cups of dreamy blocks of green and blue cheese into the bowl. Mix it all with a foul bark of a Bradford pear tree and don’t panic if a few shavings end up in there. Finally sprinkle in eighty shakers of pepper for a kick that’ll wake your taste buds from their slumber.
Now, gather your courage, cook it all together, and brace yourselves for the funkiest gnarliest mashed spuds.